Writing your own vows is one of the most meaningful parts of a wedding — and also one of the most nerve-wracking. The good news: you don’t need to be a poet. With a little structure and honesty, anyone can write vows that feel personal and heartfelt. Here’s how.
Start with a simple structure
Most beautiful vows follow a natural shape:
- Who they are to you — a line about what your partner means to you.
- A moment or memory — something specific that captures your relationship.
- Your promises — a few genuine promises for your life together.
- A closing line — how you’ll show up for them, always.
Keep each vow to around one minute when read aloud. Short and sincere beats long and general.
Practical tips
- Write like you speak. Read it out loud — if it sounds like you, it’s right.
- Be specific. “You always make me laugh when I’ve had a hard day” is stronger than “you’re funny.”
- Agree on a tone together. Decide whether you’ll be romantic, light-hearted, or a mix — and roughly the same length.
- Avoid over-used clichés and inside jokes that guests won’t understand.
- Keep a copy for your celebrant. They can hold a printed backup on the day in case nerves take over.
Simple vow examples
“[Name], from the day we met, you’ve felt like home. I promise to laugh with you, to listen when it matters, and to choose you — on the easy days and the hard ones. You are my favourite person, and today I get to make it official.”
“I promise to support your dreams, to be honest and patient, and to keep building this life with you — one ordinary, wonderful day at a time.”
Use these as inspiration, then make them your own.
What if we’re too nervous to write our own?
That’s completely normal, and you have options. Your celebrant can provide vow examples and guidance, help you shape your ideas, or write beautiful ceremony wording for you so you can simply repeat traditional vows if you prefer. There’s no wrong choice.
Frequently asked questions
How long should wedding vows be?
Aim for about one minute each — roughly 150–200 words.
Should both partners write the same length?
It helps to agree on a similar length and tone so the vows feel balanced.
Can our celebrant help us write them?
Yes — we offer vow guidance and examples, and can help you polish your words.
Need a hand with your vows?
We guide every couple through their vows as part of a personalised ceremony. Get in touch to start planning yours.